The other day I happened to reflect on what a good man a certain friend is.

Such a delight it is, such a refreshment of spirit to think of such persons.  Virtue is in decline, yet the world is full of saints.

The conversation took place years ago, but it made quite a dent in my memory.

A:  “I love think her theology.  I think it’s so neat.”  B:  “Do you mean you think it’s true?”  A:  “Who cares?  I’m just saying it’s neat.”

Chesterton remarks, “Pride consists in a man making his personality the only test, instead of making truth the test.  The sceptic feels himself too large to measure life by the largest things; and ends by measuring it by the smallest thing of all.”

Bonus link:  Feeling Moral

You have probably heard popular mottoes like “Feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just are” and “I can’t help how I feel.”

Of course feelings can be wrong.  I may become enraged whenever anyone doesn’t do exactly what I want, sulk through my days in a permanent state of sullenness, or long to betray my wife every time I see an attractive woman.

Of course we can do something about how we feel.  It’s true that we can’t simply shut off unwanted emotions and desires, and it’s also true that the very effort of suppressing them stirs them up.  Even so, our control over our inward life is much greater than we like to admit.  Although I may not be able to keep an unwanted guest from entering the house of my thoughts, or to force her outside after she has entered them, yet nothing forces me to ask her in.  Nor am I compelled to sit down and admire her, to enjoy her attentions, or to invite her to play with my imagination.  If I ignore her and go on about my business, she will eventually leave my mind on her own; if I pet her, say, “Don’t go yet”, and tell her what a lovely thought she is, she will return another day in power, and that day she will burn down the house.

Tomorrow:  The limits of fixing ourselves

A lot of things in human souls are disordered.  Up to this point in the story, it doesn’t matter why this is so -- whether because of original sin or because we are still half-ape.  Either way, we are pretty badly messed up.  The most conspicuous symptom is that we desire all sorts of things that aren’t good for us to desire.

The plot thickens:  We try all sorts of things to fix ourselves, only to discover that although there are certainly things that we can do -- I wrote about that yesterday -- yet our efforts have limited results.  Though divine grace exceeds our natural powers, even grace demands our cooperation, and God doesn’t promise to heal every ill in this life.  So we give up on all that.

Instead, we imagine that the way to be fixed isn’t to desire what is good, but to get what we desire.  If only we get it, we’ll be okay.  If we do get it, as sometimes happens, then we wonder why all that satisfaction isn’t more satisfying.

At this point the quantitative fallacy kicks in.  Getting what I want didn’t fix me.  Why not?  Ah, I get it:  I must need even more of what I want.  Then I’ll be okay.

No, divine healing requires divine hope and divine perseverance.  Keep your lamp trimmed.  If your eyes are too dim to see the wick, ask for help.  Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes with the morning.

As my regular readers know, Mondays are letter days.

Question:

You might find me a bit sour or unpleasant, so I thank you for your patience in advance, and I hope not to impose on it.  I know that you have written eloquently on matters of good and evil, and I find you persuasive, but to what point do you let reality intrude in your deliberations?

Personally, when it comes to sex, I have come to the conclusion that in order for the act to take place certain organs must be gorged in blood, and that blood has to come from somewhere, and that somewhere is the brain.  Which means that sex makes you stupid.  To use syllogisms on people who are temporarily stupid is a thankless task, and you should not be surprised that the lessons do not take root. 

Reply:

Two opposite errors must be avoided.  One error is to think that people will automatically act in the way that is good for them, even without the long, patient discipline of virtue and the grace of God.  The other is to think that no one will ever act in the way that is good for them -- that no one can develop virtue, and that encouraging people to do so makes no difference.  You are avoiding the former error, but not the latter.  I know a lot of people who practice chastity and marital faithfulness.  Don’t you?  If you don’t, maybe you are looking in the wrong places.

There is no guarantee that a person will never be stupid under the temptations of passion.  For our tendency to burst into flame from a spark, medieval natural law thinkers used the word fomes, meaning “tinder,” long before there was a sex hookup app by that name.  Even so, temptation is much more manageable if one has long practiced purity.

By the way, purity is not merely negative, a no or not lacking character of its own.  Those who "get it" aren't just not-doing something; they are doing something.  By living as they do, they are pursuing goods of beauty and integrity that impurity undermines and sullies.  Even today most people have some idea how this claim might be true in the case of faithful marriage.  It is true in the case of chaste singleness too.

And no, I don’t usually use syllogisms on people who are wallowing in filth.  But there come moments when they wonder if filthiness is all there is.  At times like that, sometimes glimpses of light trickle into the mire, and we can talk across the railing of the sty.  They may even make up their minds to escape.

We shouldn't be surprised that sexual purity is so poorly understood.  In our day it is hardly known at all.  It is like a lovely blue planet orbiting a faraway, undiscovered star.  Yet even today it is possible to live there.