Would God Make Me Give Up My Calling?

Monday, 02-23-2015

If any Underground Thomists are in Tucson on the evening of Thursday, February 26, you may be interested in an autobiographical talk I’ve been asked to give at a Veritas Forum at the University of Arizona.  The title is “Why I Am Not an Atheist.”

But Mondays are always reserved for letters from students, and here we go.

Question:

I am a writer.  I've enjoyed writing stories since third grade, and have embraced the word "writer" as my label.  Lately I've been feeling out of touch with God.  I know that we shouldn't rely totally on feelings, but I do believe they are there for a reason.  I wonder if I have this feeling because I've been focusing too much on writing instead of Him.  I really want to follow His will, but there are two problems:  I don't know what His will is, and I'm afraid that it might require me to give up writing.  I don't know if I'd be able to do that.  I love writing too much.  I'm trying to convince myself that God's will for my life is to write many short stories to my heart's content, and that He'd use them for His will even though they aren't Christian in nature (not to say that they're bad, or offensive, they're just secular, pure and simple).

I guess what I'm really trying to ask is this:  Would God require us to give up talents, skills, and likes that He created us with, for His overall plan for humanity? I worry that by telling myself "No," I'm just giving myself the answer that I want to hear -- but is it true?

Reply:

It's hard to imagine God telling you not to write, since you are so sure that His calling for you is "Write!"  To endow a person with talents, skills, and likings that direct him strongly toward an honorable kind of work is a way of calling him.  Why else would He give you these things?  Unless there is something you're not telling me, why agonize?

So often people expect God's "call" to be an audible voice, perhaps from a convenient burning bush.  Could that be your problem?  Not that He has never used such methods!  But He seems to reserve them for extraordinary callings that require extraordinary methods of announcement.  There is no particular reason to think that He would create and adorn you with temperament and talents that pushed you so strongly toward writing, then tell you "Now be an accountant."  Besides, there isn't any rule that says that an audible voice is more likely to be God's than the "voice" of the skills He has given you.  You'll always need discernment.  Even if an audible voice did tell you to be an accountant, you'd have to ask whether it was God or just your iPod.

Or could your worry be that your stories are "secular," as you call them?  Let's think about that, because the term can mean a lot of different things.  Sometimes when people call something secular, they mean that it reflects an alienated view of the world according to which there is no God, no meaning, and no hope.  I don't think that's what you have in mind -- at least I hope not. I think you mean only that your stories don't have explicitly religious themes -- that they aren't about things like worship, conversion, or Being Left Behind.  My response is: Don't worry about it. Suppose you were a painter.  Would God tell you to stop painting because your canvasses showed starry skies instead of scenes from the Bible? Or suppose you were an architect. Would He tell you to give up your profession because you happened to build homes instead of churches?  Don't the heavens proclaim His glory? Didn't He live for 30 years in an ordinary home?

I think it's the same with the writing of stories. Everything that is good and well done ultimately points to Him; by faithfully reflecting the realities of the human heart, you honor the Creator of the heart. Many a story that doesn't mention Christ is implicitly more Christian than many a story that does.  Laughter pleases Him too; we don't always have to be serious, like beasts of burden. I cannot believe that hilarity wasn't one of His creations, and I revel in the comedies of P.G. Wodehouse.  My advice is that if your stories are dull, shoddy, careless, corrupting, or ordained for dishonorable purposes, then you should doubt your calling.  Not otherwise.

There are two complications.  Here is the first.  In the strictest sense of the term, a calling is something permanent.  The calling to marriage is like that; God never calls a husband to abandon his wife.  So is the calling to the priesthood, or to the consecrated religious life.  Writing isn't that kind of calling.  It might please your Creator for you to take up another kind of work some day, just as He called upon Moses to stop herding his father-in-law's sheep.  I can't tell you that won't happen.  I can’t tell you that it won’t require the last ounce of your strength.  What I can tell you is that if it does happen, it won't happen in the way that you fear.  You won’t be thrown away.  God won't give you contradictory guidance, He won't put the temperament and talents He has given you to waste, and He is not displeased for you to follow the guidance He is giving you now.  You can't do tomorrow's duty today; you can only do today's.

The second complication -- as I mentioned – is that there may be something you're not telling me.  Perhaps you don't really like writing, but just like the idea of writing.  Perhaps you aren't really talented at it, but just like the idea of being talented.  Perhaps your stories aren't as innocent as you say they are.  I'm not particularly worried, mind you.  Good writers are often filled with unnecessary self-doubts; nothing in your letter suggests that you aren't being honest with yourself.  Just be sure that you are!

The first step in doing that is to get to the bottom of the other problem you mention.  You say you feel "out of touch" with God, and you wonder whether your writing is to blame.  It shouldn't be, and yet it could be.  The reason is this:  It isn't the obviously bad things in life that we're tempted to turn into idols, but the good and godly ones.  I mentioned before that you should write "as unto the Lord."  The question is:  Is that the way that you do it?  So much depends on the rest of your life.  Worship often; pray constantly; practice the action of charity; and avoid what you know to be sin.  Yes, love and enjoy your craft!  But if you love the beauty of words, that is all the more reason to adore the Word in whom all Story has its source.

Tomorrow:  Nothing Is Neutral

 

What We Are For

Sunday, 02-22-2015

"Man is obviously made for thinking.  Therein lies all his dignity and his merit; and his whole duty is to think as he ought.  Now the order of thought is to begin with ourselves, and with our author and our end.”

-- Blaise Pascal, Pensées

 

Why Must You Bring Up That Subject?

Saturday, 02-21-2015

Political theory is a branch of the theory of how to live.  If God is our greatest good, then of course the truth about Him will make a difference to how to live.

When people say theology has nothing to do with political theory, what they usually mean is that either there is no God, or He is irrelevant to how we should live.  But that is a theology; it is a doctrine about God.  So such people think theology has something to do with political theory after all.  The problem is that they insist we all live by their theology.   And since they pretend that it isn’t a theology, they don’t think they have to explain what makes their theology true.

The claim is sometimes made that anyone who thinks God matters to how we live must want to bully people into obeying the true religion.  But of course that depends on how God matters.  If you believe as Muhammad did that God requires enforcement of Shari’a, then obedience to God requires coercing them to obey.  But if you believe as St. Hilary of Poitiers did that “God does not want an unwilling obedience,” then obedience to God requires not coercing them, doesn’t it?

Tomorrow:  What We Are For

 

What Self-Deception Is and Isn’t

Friday, 02-20-2015

The expression “self-deception” is not to be taken literally; what happens is that I try not to think about certain things, and I try not to think about the fact that I am trying not to think about them.

But if they are the sort of thing one tends to think of, then trying not to think about them takes effort.  How much effort?  It depends.  Some things are known in themselves; some are known with just a little reflection; and some things are known only after much reflection.

To deny things in the third class is easy.

To deny things in the second class -- the existence of God, for example -- is possible, but difficult, because in order to deny one of them, one must develop the habit of not thinking about all the things that point to its truth.

To deny things in the first class – say, the basics of right and wrong – is harder still.  Somehow we manage.

Honesty is hard too, because our hearts are divided -- hard in a different way.  In the other cases, the difficulty is finding a way to hide from the inbuilt desire to dwell in truth.  But in order to dwell in it, we must overcome the terror of admitting that so far we haven’t been doing so.

Tomorrow:  Why Must You Bring Up That Subject

 

Spilled Eschatology

Thursday, 02-19-2015

When sound eschatology is denied, rather than evaporating, it spills.  The Church has had long experience with diverted spiritual longings and spilled eschatology.  The older forms have included worship of the ruler, adoration of the nation or race, and ecstatic devotion to the power of government.  But newer and stranger manifestations of spilled eschatology are even now appearing on the horizon.

Perhaps the most bizarre example is the argument of Tulane University physicist Frank J. Tipler that through the advance of science, intelligent species will literally evolve into God.  The idea that dependent being could turn into absolute Being is so muddled that one hardly knows how to argue with it, yet arguments of this sort are taken seriously by serious people. 

If we are searching for common moral ground with people, it may seem impudent to drag in something so plainly not common ground as eschatology.  Aren’t things like that better left unmentioned?  Don’t they lie beyond the province of natural reason?  Yes, but that doesn’t mean we can avoid it.

To see why we can’t, consider the contrast between two impulses embedded in human nature, the mere love of self and the impulse toward transcendence.  Those who do not know what their nature is cannot love themselves properly; those who do not know what the object of transcendence is cannot hope properly.  Yet there is a difference, for the knowledge of human nature is accessible apart from revelation, but the knowledge of the object of transcendence is not accessible apart from revelation; the longing we harbor is a ghostly natural preparation for the supernatural virtue of hope.

Unfulfilled longing for transcendence drives otherwise reasonable people either to despair or to false objects of transcendence, bewitching sirens that lure them to destruction.  When the craving grows desperate enough, people lose interest in merely natural things.  Their ears are full of the rush of their blood.  They cannot hear us.

The paradox, then, is that not all of the questions that vex dialogue about natural law are contained within natural law.  On one hand, the reality of natural law can be grasped by every person of good will; on the other hand, apart from grace its contours seem cloudy, and the stirrings it awakens may madden us.  Natural lawyers have scarcely begun to think about problems like this.

Tomorrow:  What Self-Deception Is and Isn’t

 

Yes, It Is Still Possible to Teach

Wednesday, 02-18-2015

Every honest college teacher – at least every one who has been around long enough to judge -- knows that teaching, really teaching, is getting more and more difficult.  One reason is the prolongation of adolescence, which I discussed yesterday.  But there are others.

For example, even intelligent students have lost the reading habit.  Recently – a common complaint -- a student protested that one of my courses assigned “so much reading,” with the phrase “so much” doubly underlined.  Yet in that particular course he was rarely expected to read more than thirty pages a week.

An even bigger reason why teaching is harder than it used to be is the spread of the practice of having students rate their professors, with the results used as a factor in salary and promotion.  Empirical research shows pretty conclusively that most students evaluate their teachers not according to how much they learned, but according to whether the assignments were easy, the lectures were entertaining, and the grading was relaxed.  Is it difficult to fathom why college courses are turning into fluff?  One of my students commented that although he had written essays in other courses, “This was the first time I’ve had to use arguments.”

Yet every semester, I am encouraged to find that it is still possible to get something across.

I administer a questionnaire of my own devising, which is different than the required rate-your-teacher survey.  One item on my questionnaire remarks that the ideal of the liberal arts is to liberate us to reflect on the permanent goods and persisting concerns of human life.  Then it asks, “In what way, if any, do you consider yourself most deficient in what you may need to reflect more deeply and rationally on these matters?”

A student in one of my courses responded last year that he was trying to “let go of his relativist tendencies” and remarked that his greatest difficulty lay in considering the question, “Are these values my values because they are true and good, or because they let me do what I want?”

Since the questionnaire is anonymous, I don’t know how much he had learned about Augustine, Aristotle, and Thomas Aquinas.  But if that was all he learned about himself, I’d say that he did pretty well.

Tomorrow:  Spilled Eschatology

 

The Prolongation of Adolescence

Tuesday, 02-17-2015

If we think of adolescence as the span of time between the biological readiness to begin a family and the moral readiness to assume its responsibilities, it might seem that it should be rather short -- a brief and expectant walk down the corridor between the childhood and maturity.  Until recently it was; adolescence as such is not new, but adolescence as we know it is historically novel.

Think of a time when the interval between puberty and marriage was much shorter than today.  Most people worked the land, but great age is not needed to farm.  Other young men of common birth apprenticed at trades or went into commerce.  Those of higher birth sometimes acquired various kinds of learning, but not usually at universities.  Those who did matriculate at universities were few in number, often began when much younger than students today, and were frequently destined for holy orders, which meant, not marriage, but celibacy.  Adolescence, as we know it, barely existed; people passed rather more quickly from childhood to adulthood, and did not expect an extended period of play in between.  Various rituals dramatized the admission of the young person into the adult community.  That society had problems of its own -- but a long interval between the readiness to marry and the entrance into matrimony was not one of them.

Something has happened.  In the first place, the age of puberty is dropping all over the world.  No one knows why, although guesses abound.  One theory blames it on persistent organic pollutants -- chemicals which mimic estrogen, released by human activities into the environment.  Another blames it on what might be called persistent cultural pollutants -- the unavoidable and unremitting deluge of sexual stimulation in words, sounds, and images.  Still others blame it merely on better nutrition, although it is hard to see why having sufficient food should be maladaptive.

In the second place, as the age of puberty drops, the age of marriage rises.  Though some of the reasons are obscure, not all of them are.  Many lines of work require more training than of old; that is plain enough.  More puzzling is that apprenticeships have died out, and most training has been exported from the workplace to the school -- where students earn no wages.  Schools, in the meantime, have become incompetent, so that the time necessary to learn anything takes much longer than it ought to.  What once was taught in secondary school now waits for college; what once was taught in college now waits for graduate school.  And let us not forget how much sheer junk is taught, just to provide the teacher with a job.  The result is a long period of economic dependence.

Apologists for late marriage consider it good because human beings do not reach full maturity until their mid-twenties.  "To marry before this," said the late John R.W. Stott, "runs the risk of finding yourself at twenty-five married to somebody who was a very different person at the age of twenty."  Stott was a wise man from whom much could be learned, and I am loath to differ with him.  Certainly people should not marry until they are mature.  But although the rate of human neurological development seems to be fixed, the rate of maturation is not exactly the same thing.  In particular, the age at which people are mature enough to take on the responsibilities of marriage is not a constant; it depends in part on when we do marry, and in part on when we are expected to.  If today people are not ready to marry and begin families until twenty-five -- or thirty -- or thirty-five -- then our first question ought to be "Why aren't they?"  Are they less grown up than they used to be?  Do corrupted understandings of marriage make it more difficult than it used to be?  Both, one suspects.

We should also pause to remember how maturity is attained.  Men and women do not first become mature, and then accept responsibilities; it is through accepting responsibilities that they become mature.  Responsibility itself transforms them, the marital responsibility even more than most others.  Matrimony and childbearing shatter, reassemble, and fuse the man and woman into a single organism with two personalities.  If you marry at twenty, then you ought to be very different persons at twenty-five -- and you ought to have changed hand in hand.  Unfortunately, the older we become, the harder it is to yield to the transformation; the more we have changed by ourselves, the harder it is for us to change together.

The unnatural prolongation of adolescence poses a variety of moral problems.  Normal erotic desire is transmuted from a spur to marriage to an incentive for promiscuity.  Promiscuity thwarts the attainment of moral wisdom, and makes conjugal love itself seem unattractive.  Furthermore, prolonged irresponsibility is itself a sort of training, and a bad one.  Before long the entire culture is caught up in a Peter Pan syndrome, terrified of leaving childhood.  At this point even the responsibilities of marriage and family begin to lose their transformative character.  Men in their forties with children in their twenties say "I still don't feel like a grown-up," "I still can't believe I'm a father."  Their very capacity to face the moral life has been impaired.

Tomorrow:  Yes, It Is  Still Possible to Teach